2000 year old man transcript

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2000 year old man transcript

The 2000 Year Old Man by Mel Brooks

Well . . . this was not as funny as I remembered.

Originally a comedy skit, created by Brooks and Reiner in 1961 after Brooks claimed that a bout of gout made him feel like a 2000-year-old man, the routine was later adapted as an animated television special in 1975. This book, based on transcripts from four sound recordings made by the authors, was released in 1981.

Heres my favorite bit from when I was a kid:

REINER: . . . in the two thousand years youve lived, youve seen a lot of changes.
2000: Yes. I certainly have.
REINER: What is the biggest change youve seen?
2000: In two thousand years, the greatest thing mankind ever devised, I think, in my humble opinion, is Saran Wrap. You can put a sandwich in it, you can look through it, you can touch it. You can put it over your face and fool around and everything. Its so good and cute! I love it.
REINER: You equate this with mans discovery of space?
2000: That was good. That was good. That was a good thing, space, finding space.

There were a few racy parts that were either censored, or went over my head when I was younger:

REINER: Onan? What did Onan invent?
2000: Onan discovered himself. A very big invention.
REINER: Yes, I see.
2000: I think he was falling and he grabbed onto himself and thats how he fell in love.
REINER: And he stayed with himself.
2000: And he lived with himself and he was in love.
REINER: Was he ostracized for being that way?
2000: He was circumcised. I dont know ostracized.
REINER: No, no. I mean was he shunned?
2000: Oh, yes, he was shunned because the Bible, it says, Thou shalt not spill the seed of thy fruit on the ground, you know.
REINER: Thats right, and also that thou shalt be fruitful and multiply.
2000: And he was fruitless and subtracting, if you want to look at it that way.

And I thought Lily Von Shtupp was the only Mel Brooks character to work blue.

Heres one more bit that Id never heard, but did enjoy:

REINER: Did you know Paul Revere?
2000: An anti-Semite bastard.
REINER: You didnt like Paul Revere?
2000: He hated Jews.
REINER: He was a hero!
2000: No, he hated the Jews. I couldnt take him.
REINER: No, no, he was a hero. How could you call him an anti-Semite?
2000: He warned us, he was afraid they were moving in, he had fear that they were going in the neighborhood, to move in. Theyre coming! Theyre coming! The Yiddish are coming! All night he was yelling, Beware of the Jews!
REINER: Were you living in that neighborhood at the time?
2000: I was there, I heard him myself.
REINER: He was yelling, The British are coming.
2000: Oy, my God! Oh! The British are coming??? Im gonna have to send his wife a note. Oh! Oh, oh. That is bad. I didnt know it. And I didnt go to his funeral! Oh, my God! What an error!

Though this was a nice trip down memory lane, I didnt laugh much

You can catch a bit of the act here - https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XOTKD...

File Name: 2000 year old man transcript.zip
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Published 03.04.2019

The 2000 Year Old Man - Created and Performed by Mel Brooks and Carl Reiner

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What started out as a writers-room tension breaker and a parlor game among friends quickly turned into comedy gold. This anthology includes all five comedy albums on three CDs plus a DVD featuring two television appearances, the animated special and an August interview with Carl Reiner and Mel Brooks; it's a must for any comedy enthusiast. The origin of the routine dates back to the Sid Caesar program Your Show of Shows where Reiner was an actor and Brooks was a writer along with Neil Simon and Larry Gelbart, among others who went on to have hugely influential careers. When Reiner first set foot in the writer's room he was caught up in Brooks' spontaneous madness; the latter burst into an impromptu routine about a kvetching Jewish pirate complaining about the inability to pillage in the current economy. They soon became fast friends.

The Year Old Man is a comedy sketch, originally created by Mel Brooks and Carl Reiner in the s and first publicly performed in the s. Mel Brooks plays the oldest man in the world, interviewed by Carl Reiner in a series of comedy routines that were recorded into a collection of records, as well as being performed on television. In a Yiddish accent, Brooks would improvise answers to topics such as the earliest-known language "basic Rock" ; manufacturing the Star of David "I employed six men, see, each with a point. They would run together in the middle of the factory, and in the great speed, they would fuse, thus creating a star. I would make two a day, because of the many ACCidents" ; missing out on manufacturing the cross "It was simple. I didn't know then it was eloquent! Two men run together … BANG!

Note: episode transcripts are radio scripts - please keep that in mind as you come across notations and errors in the text. Click here for the audio version of the episode. This story starts kinda like that.
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Fresh Tweets

Mel Brooks has a good friend who is a psychologist. The psychologist thereupon retracted his professional evaluation. Examining the elements of this story, we find that the psychologist was correct in the first place. In short: father. If everyone is crazy as all mentally healthy people know , then it is mentally healthier to urinate on shoes and remind people that they are crazy than it is to go around saying they are mentally healthy.

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  1. Gay E. says:

    Nearly 60 years after its inception and a half-century since the first album, Shout Factory has assembled The Year Old Man: The.

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