Tough guys and drama queens parent guide
Tough Guys and Drama Queens: How Not to Get Blindsided by Your Childs Teen Years by Mark GregstonI was really looking forward to reading Tough Guys and Drama Queens: How Not to Get Blindsided by Your Childs Teen Years because I have a tween drama queen in the making and I was pleasantly surprised that the core of Mark Gregstons philosophy is not just how to handle the turbulent teen years but how parents can better prepare their teens for adulthood. Having worked with teens myself, I am impressed that Mark Gregston, founder of a Christian residential counseling center called Heartlight, has had thirty-eight years of experience with more than 2,500 teens.
The author explains the steps of the parental roles in memorable terms. In the first five years parents try to please their children. In the elementary years, there is a shift to protecting the children. Middle school aged children need parents to provide. The remaining teen years should be about preparing them for adulthood. Unfortunately, many parents get stuck in over-pleasing, over-protecting, and over-providing modes. The result is their teenagers are not prepared to be self-reliant adults and they take on the very traits the parents were hoping to avoid, but were inevitable with their parental approach.
At first, it grated with me that Mark Gregston feels that the parenting approach that worked well with me as a child would not work today with the overexposure to information, the overloading children due to our heightened technology, but then I have to admit that todays culture is significantly different than when I was a teen. There were no such things as cell phones, home computers, and cable TV in my home as I was growing up, much less the Internet, email, blogs, Facebook, Twitter, texting, digital pictures, and video games. Between the pressures of school, activities, homework, chores, peer pressures, social media, and parental expectations to excel, a child could be starving for a loving, peaceful, and restful relationship with his parents, as the author suggests. I have felt strictly curtailing online and gaming activities would alleviate these pressures, but I agreed with the advice in the book that at some point teens need to be encouraged to make their own decisions, so they can learn from their mistakes--and, yes, they will make mistakes--at home with forgiving parents.
I highly recommend this book for parents whether or not you are struggling with your tweens or teens. The book has suggestions on what parenting practices to avoid and what ones work. There are examples of previously ideal teens suddenly turning onto the wrong path and why other teens seem rebellious most of the time. Most importantly, I feel the wisdom contained helps the parent realize in a big picture way that the goal is not to have the perfect teen, but to allow the teen to be imperfect. Not to buffer the teen from the world, but allow him to test the waters of self-reliance, self-control, and self-discipline by increasingly allowing him to make his own choices and realizing, as hard as it is to allow him to fail or get into trouble, that he will learn from his mistakes more than any lecture.
Tough Guys and Drama Queens: How Not to Get Blindsided by Your Childs Teen Years will be staying on my shelf as a reference book to be reread in the future if only to remind me of the ultimate goal is to launch the teenager into adulthood and to encourage me stay on track with that big picture.
Disclaimer: I was given this book from Booksneeze in exchange for my honest opinion, no other compensation was given.
A Conversation With Mark Gregston - Eight Essential Qualities Of A Parent
Published by Nelson Incorporated, Thomas. Seller Rating:. About this Item: Nelson Incorporated, Thomas. Condition: Good. A copy that has been read, but remains in clean condition. All pages are intact, and the cover is intact. The spine may show signs of wear.
Have questions about eBooks? Check out our eBook FAQs. Are you ready for your child's teen years? If you've ever lain awake at night wondering what might be around the corner of your child's adolescence, this book is for you! Mark helps parents realize that some natural parenting approaches are actually counter-productive and therefore totally ineffective. In place of those, he offers tried and true wisdom on the vital importance of relationship, forgiveness, and explains how conflict is actually the precursor to change.
Jan 1, Parents of preteens and teens can move from scared to prepared with a new approach to parenting their adolescents. Parents of preteens.
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Parents of preteens and teens can move from scared to prepared with a new approach to parenting their adolescents., Parents of preteens and teens can move from scared to prepared with a new approach to parenting their adolescents.
Parents of preteens and teens can move from scared to prepared with a new approach to parenting their adolescents. Parents of preteens intuitively know that no matter how good their kids are, there is turbulence ahead. Many feel lost and unprepared as they watch the damaging effects of culture collide with their child's growing pains and raging hormones. For the past 35 years Mark Gregston has lived and worked with struggling teens and knows what it takes to reach them. He says, "A parent's success has little to do with either the validity of their words or their intent as messengers, it's more about how they approach their child and engage with them. Foundational and practical, Tough Guys and Drama Queens Parent's Guide answers the questions that parents are asking, helping them become the parents their children need them to be. Mark Gregston.