My daughter lies about everything
Things I Should Have Told My Daughter: Lies, Lessons & Love Affairs by Pearl CleageIn this inspiring memoir, the award-winning playwright and bestselling author of What Looks Like Crazy on an Ordinary Day reminisces on the art of juggling marriage, motherhood, and politics while working to become a successful writer.
In addition to being one of the most popular living playwrights in America, Pearl Cleage is a bestselling author with an Oprah Book Club pick and multiple awards to her credit, but there was a time when such stellar success seemed like a dream. In this revelatory and deeply personal work, Cleage takes readers back to the 1970s and ’80s, retracing her struggles to hone her craft amid personal and professional tumult.
Though born and raised in Detroit, it was in Atlanta that Cleage encountered the forces that would most shape her experience. At the time, married to Michael Lomax, now head of the United Negro College Fund, she worked with Maynard Jackson, Atlanta’s first African-American mayor. Things I Should Have Told My Daughter charts not only the political fights but also the pull she began to feel on her own passions—a pull that led her away from Lomax as she grappled with ideas of feminism and self-fulfillment. This fascinating memoir follows her journey from a columnist for a local weekly to a playwright and Hollywood scriptwriter whose circle came to include luminaries Richard Pryor, Avery Brooks, Phylicia Rashad, Shirley Franklin, and Jesse Jackson.
In the tradition of giants such as Susan Sontag, Joan Didion, Nora Ephron, and Maya Angelou, Cleage’s self-portrait raises women’s confessional writing to the level of fine literature.
What to Do When My Child Lies? 13 Ways to Respond, Prevent, and Strengthen Honest Communication
A prerequisite for learning anything of value from this article is admitting that fact to yourself. Think back to your teen years. Part of being a teen was creating an entire life of your own, separate and distinct from your parents. It was an exciting and exhilarating time. You formed personal opinions on social issues, political issues, what kind of music you liked, what kind of people you liked, what kind of person you wanted to be, and the kind of people you wanted to hang out with. You may not have lied to your parents at all while you were a teenager, but you should know that if you never lied to your parents, you were in the minority.
Were you afraid of what would happen if you told the truth? Worried how the other would react? Whether you'd get into trouble? Or because you felt ashamed? Because covering up the truth seemed easier than dealing with the lie? Because you felt the other wasn't ready to hear the truth?
A: To start with, at your daughter's age, lying is pretty common. Having said that, when it becomes a pattern and your child does not seem to respond to consequence it can be disconcerting to say the least. The first step in dealing with her lying is to make sure that your consequences are predictable and proportional. What this means is that she has to know what the consequences will be each time she lies or at least that there will always be consequences. Secondly, it means that if she lies about something small, the consequences need to be small.